a flickering spark wanting to be appreciated for her warmth



<3 SONGS!

Fields of Gold - Sting
You were meant for me - Jewel
If i ain't got you - Alicia Keys
All of me - John Legend
Home - Phillip Phillips
L-O-V-E - Nat King Cole
How long will I love you - Ellie Goulding
The Glory of Love - The Five Keys

She has left.
I remember it was Sunday. Last day of May. I remember she was in pain for a while. I remember she could not longer speak. I remember my Grandmother, and she left quietly after every one of us came to say goodbye.

You never really forget someone, or get over someone. You just choose to keep them in a corner of your heart and mind. For some of them, you take them out and flip through the memories like a photo album. For others, you just brush the thoughts aside and get on with life.

I thank God for the blessings in my life, and for the good things to come. Amen.

Labels: 2017, death, emo, God, grandma, health, life, love, memories, peace, Sam Smith, songs, time, too good at goodbyes

Back to the familiar sights and sounds, but i feel like a stranger lost in the mindless, nameless crowd. Between then and now, I've gained, lost, gained and lost to the inner demons of doubts in my head and heart. It's a disease that had me eaten inside out for years. I want to beat this sickness, and i don't know how. Life's a journey, and my journey hasn't been the smoothest nor the most challenging. I can, and will only be thankful for what I have, be hopeful for what's to come, because when there is darkness, there will be light, or so i pray.



  

This heavy feeling is compounded by my fear of losing someone so so dear. There are so many memories, both vivid and vague. I know it's going to be tough, and it's a mixed bag of feelings - to let go or not. The age-old question, we all ask at various points of our lives. I know it would end her suffering, yet it's not easy not to be selfish; I can't bear to let her go and allow her to become a fragment of my memory. I am holding on, I want to hold on. I pray, I hope, I beg for her to recover, for her to stay, just a little while more. So God, on this beautiful Friday, please hear my prayers, hopes and wishes, and I'll remain forever thankful. Amen.

Labels: 2017, emo, family, fear, God, grandma, hope, life, love, memories, phil wickham, pray, the light will come

My journey in Melbourne is coming to an end. I started at where I began in life but older and none the wiser. I'm sad, and I wished the earth would swallow me up. It's gonna be a challenging Christmas and New Year.

I thought I had gained, but at the end, I lost more than I have ever thought I would.

Still, I thank God for the wonderful things that have happened. I believe there are good plans ahead, and I still have hope. Amen.

Labels: 2016, accident, blessed, emo, God, graduation, life, love, melbourne, sad, school

Dear 17 year old Dominique, Be careful of that big nasty rock near the track because you're going to sprain your ankle and not be able to play volleyball as competitively as before. You were a big fish in a medium sized pond, and now you're a small fish in a big lake. Don't stress. Be confident of your strengths and be aware of your weakness. Time manage and be discipline. Set a little more time aside for Maths, especially Statistics. Don't take up Maths S papers. Try Biology. It has always been your interest. Understand the difference between settling for someone, and loving someone. Don't break his heart. Don't be afraid of heartaches. Know that relationships are about commitment, compromise, care, communication and consideration. Keep those who never forsake you close, real close. Love your family. Go have coffee with dad more, and hug your mum more. Talk to your brothers more, especially your elder brother. Learn to breathe easy. Visit your granny more, hug her, and ask her about her life stories. Most importantly, understand that regrets in life are often things you don't try or let go, rather than things you've done or treasured dearly. Love more, laugh more, live more. With all my heart and love, 30 year old Dominique.

Labels: 2016, emo, letter, life, memories

We all had dreams as a little child, that thought or comment of 'one day I'm gonna...'.

Well, most of mine are slowly realized over the years and as my third decade on Earth is gradually approaching, I reminisced and pondered over everything that has happened and hasn't happen. You know, the kind of emo nemo stuff I am often overly indulgent on.

If there's anyone who knows me or has read my blog's previous entries, you would know I'm really not good with relationships - to stay in it or to keep someone. It's scary how judgmental people can be, to know you have been single all your life, to know you have had abusive relationships, to know you have had many relationships, etc. They conjure up may hypotheses like your bad childhood, your appearances, your character, your ambitious desire, your materialism, your lack of fidelity and many more. And yes, I've been in conversations like these and although the comments were not directed at me, I often wonder what they thought of me.

It sort of reminded me of the many reasons why people are plump especially after the viral fat/body shaming videos. I can understand that for some people, they want to slim down and have tried hard but haven't had much success due to external reasons like health/biological conditions. For some people I know, it was a challenging but beneficial journey to healthier and slimmer bodies.

So, I guess, I'm not sure what's happening here but I would like to believe it's a combination of Nature versus Nurture debate. I would also like to believe I am becoming a better person as time goes by. I do not want a 'anything goes' outcome. Sparks should fly and pieces should fit. So, it's gonna be a 'we shall see' situation. In the mean time, I believe that we should do things that we want to regardless of  marital status. There will always be down times but life is too long for sadness and too short for happiness. Let's take a better route, smell the roses and enjoy.

Peace out and God bless. 

Labels: 2015, 30, BANFF, emo, God, happiness, marriage, memories, music, relationships, The Great Unknown

Woke up feeling rather gloomy today and the weather in Melbourne reflects exactly that. It has been sunny this week until today. Pretty sure it's gonna rain in an hour's time.

Ever since I've moved into this room, I've had dreams every night. They are not pleasant at all. :( I often wake up feeling scared or sad. Today, it's been the worst. It's a stark reminder of what I've lost and it was painful. You would move on from all these memories because life and time goes on and being someone who's caught up with my own goals, I do move forward. However, we all would realise, that from time to time, these memories come back to haunt us. Once again, we find our hearts and minds really affected by them. I often feel alone when I feel this way but I'm pretty sure he does, everyone does. It's just how frequent and how much we allow ourselves to be affected by it.

Moral of the story? I need a dreamcatcher! :p

Meanwhile, being in Melbourne alone and starting on a new independent journey again, is a dream and goal come true! :) However in reality, this new phase of life may be giving some stress. Although I feel fine but my body and mind are finer calipers of balance and right now, I may be just feeling out of sorts while adjusting to life.

So far, I'm quite thankful. Not many major hiccups and I'm grateful for many things that have happened and people who have helped. I can only continue to pray and hope for things to be good, for love, peace, health and happiness. Amen.

The pictures kinda sum up what I've been doing.

Coffee (loads), exploring lanes, night life (White Night!), Queen Victoria Market, CNY, Beaches (St Kilda)! :)

Labels: 2015, australia, coffee, dreamcatcher, dreams, emo, God, life, lost, love, melbourne, queen victoria market, st kilda, stress, travel

Labels: 2014, angus & julia stone, emo, God, heart beats slow, indie, love, memories, music, regrets, songs

Once again, I feel this way. I hope what I choose to do is what God had wanted me to do. I pray for peace, love, health and happiness. Amen.

Labels: 2014, emo, family, friends, God, life, love, pensive, relationships

For he's a jolly good fellow,
The one I remembered from young.
The piggybacks and funny jokes,
The hugs and laughters,
The occasional scolds.

Years gone by, he's grown old,
And we have all grown apart.
Our families meet once a year,
The gathering of many for the new beginning,
The one I see him at.

He fought many battles,
Through the lines and creases, we see.
He fought hard till the end,
Through the weeks, we saw.
We prayed. We wept. We loved more.

Although you're gone from our sight,
No matter what,
No matter where,
No matter when,
In our hearts and in our minds,
You'll always be a part.

God bless your soul and all the loved ones you've left behind. Amen.

I will miss you...and especially your smile.

Labels: 2014, 21August2014, emo, family, God, life, love, memories, prose, uncle

Today I received a call from my aunt and it got me worried until mum came home. I'm grateful for everyday that my uncle is fine.

Yet, I can't help but wonder about my own life and the journey ahead. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep hope up.

Robin Williams passed away today. A friend posted an article about how the funniest or happiest person may be the most unhappy or depressed person. 
The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.

Heard this song on my way home from gym and it become my ear worm. So meaningful and kinda expresses how I feel lately.

辛曉琪 遺忘

Labels: 2014, chinese songs, comedians, depression, emo, family, friends, God, hope, life, love, memories, pray, reminiscence, robin williams, songs, thankful, time, Time magazine, Winnie Hsin

The train carriage was quiet although most of the seats were taken. There was a lady reading a magazine, a teenage boy bobbing his head to the music playing through his headphones, an old couple staring into space with their hands held on tightly together and a couple of tired workers with their eyes half-shut. I was sitting there looking around and thinking about plans for tomorrow when the carriage doors open and in ran two young children with their father behind them. He sat down quietly beside me. His two children were chasing round the poles and loud laughter and shrill shrieks were heard from time to time.I turned to look at my neighbour and he was nonchalantly staring into space. It was as if he could not hear nor see the ruckus. I looked around the carriage to see if anyone was also bothered by the scene. A few exchanged looks with me and gave a disapproving look while the rest did not stir. I closed my eyes and hoped that the children would tire soon and sit down with their father. It felt like a long wait. Finally, I turned to tap on his shoulders. 

"Excuse me sir, could you ask your children not to run and shout?"

"I'm sorry. We just returned from the hospital. Their mother just passed on. I'm not sure what to do either."

This story was adapted from a story I've heard during a workshop. It was about making assumptions. In our daily lives, we often make assumptions based on our own experiences, senses, beliefs and perspectives. Today, I sat in the bus on my way to the hospital to accompany my mother. My uncle is not well and appears to be in a critical and delicate situation. I was troubled. Yet, I was reminded of that story, of how I am troubled and how everyone on the bus might have viewed me. The least likely opinion that they would have of me is that my loved one is not well. And I looked around, wondering what is everyone's story. Do they have an amazing or unhappy childhood? Are they healthy or are they sick? Do they have financial security or instability?

Everyone has a story. I don't want his to end. God bless him. I really hope he becomes better and that he will wake up to smile to me again. Pray for him.

Labels: 2014, emo, family, God, health, kinship, love, pray, stories, uncle

Labels: 2014, Adam Levine, emo, family, friends, God, hope, hopes and dreams, i will wait, lost, Lost Stars, love, pray, songs, work

Paris and London were wonderful. The memories were aplenty and I remembered mostly the good ones. They leave me teary. Why? I ask God as well.
I can only trust and pray.

Discovered new music today. Swedish band, Amarante's Don't Look Back. It was used as a background music for a video uploaded by a girl with depression and other mental illnesses. She chronicled her selfies for 6.5years from 14 to 21 years old. It was this song that struck me most.
It was soothing for the challenging times I've been having. I kinda got lost in 2 relationships that meant alot to me.

Wish me good luck for next Monday. It's a very very very important interview to me.  God bless us all.

That the world isn't fair 

This light doesn't owe you anything 

It's in your hands 

To make your own luck 

Live your own life 

You're awake 

Well, count on me 

When the world isn't kind 

And it leaves you behind 

All alone 

Just remember dear: 

You are a strong one 

You will not let it 

Knock you down 

Don't look back 

Just keep your head up 

Don't look back 

Just keep your head up 

Don't don't don't look back 

Just keep your head up 

Don't don't don't look back 

Just keep your head up

Labels: 2014, Amarante, don't look back, emo, family, friends, God, hope, life, london, love, memories, paris, relationships, scholarships, songs, work

Lately the skies seemed alil' less blue and everything appears to have that tinge of grey all over them. I feel like i'm sinking. Once again, me against the world. Has it been the bad shit I've done? What have I done? When will it all end? When will I see light and be blessed in its rays?

Labels: 2014, bad luck, coldplay, emo, family, friends, God, good luck, karma, life, lost, love, work

Labels: 2014, birdy, emo, love, memories, songs, wings

Labels: 2014, aimee mann, emo, family, friends, life, love, magnolia, movie, relationships, songs, wise up, work

And so I've heard about this film from this friend and I watched it tonight. It made me tear, because it is a sappy love story but no, it's not because the guy and the girl couldn't be together. It was a sappy love story about a family and it made me feel so touched and inspired. About the love of a husband for his wife, to make sure she is the mother of his children. About the love of a father, to protect his children. About the love of a brother for his sister, to help her find true love and happiness. The greatest lesson from the movie, is the love of the father and his son. And it all made sense as we watched on. It is such a lovely, lovely show.

In reality, we do not have the luxury of time travel, to do the regretted actions, to undo the mistakes, to re-write the stories we do not want told. Treat everyday as if it is the last, enjoy every moment and treasure everyone. Don't let time, slip you by. We go by everyday without realizing that it is one day nearer to losing everything. Let's hope it's a remarkable ride!

Labels: 2014, about time, boyfriend, brother, emo, family, friends, girlfriend, london, love, memories, movie, parents, quotes, regrets, relationships, siblings, sister, time, time travel

Labels: 2014, chvrches, connection, emo, family, friends, hope, love, memories, relationships, songs, thankful, under the tide

It hasn't been a pleasant start to my 28th year breathing and living.
What to do? Suck it up and move on loh.

Once again I'm caught up in this vortex of confusion. I know this is not good for me too. I should really walk away. Sigh. When will I be found and when will I find?
The peculiar situation of misfits and misfortune.

our lady peace - bring back the sun

Let the sun shine through the haze and hopefully bring some light back into my life.
Let there be hope.
God, please.

Labels: 2014, bring back the sun, CNY, emo, hope, love, our lady peace, songs

to be left behind while everyone and everything moves on.

I'm suffocating in this quicksand.

Labels: 2014, birthdays, emo, friends, life, love

Previously on Earth

Leave a comment anywhere if you're interested in something pretty here.

Brand New Bags!

Good for weekends and work. Able to put magazines, files, notebook, ipad and a bottle of water to hydrate in this sunny weather.
Rich pebbled cowhide leather and a structured tote shape accented with 14 karat gold-plated hardware.
Contrast top-stitching with a double flat shoulder strap and a KATE SPADE NEW YORK" name plaque on the front center of the bag.
Has concealed zip-top closure that opens up to a pretty woven floral lining.
Has two open pockets trimmed in leather and a zipper pocket with leather accents and a "KATE SPADE NEW YORK" name plaque stitched into it.
ORP: US$365
Asking for $480!
Brand New With Tag. No dustbag.
20" Shoulder Straps
8" Shoulder Strap Drop
16" Width
13.5" Height
6" Depth


Longchamp Le Pliage in Rouge & Blanc


Favorite classic tote from Longchamp - Le Pliage in Blanc & Rouge
Zippered Tote
12" Long Handle - Cowhide Leather
1 Main Compartment with Zipper Opening and 1 Internal Pocket on the Front
Foldable for Easy Storage when Not In Use
Dimensions: 31x30x19cm
Made In France
Brand New!
ORP: $245
Asking for $185

History

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