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Home?
Saturday, April 15, 2017 • 12:53 AM • 0 comments Back to the familiar sights and sounds, but i feel like a stranger lost in the mindless, nameless crowd. Between then and now, I've gained, lost, gained and lost to the inner demons of doubts in my head and heart. It's a disease that had me eaten inside out for years. I want to beat this sickness, and i don't know how. Life's a journey, and my journey hasn't been the smoothest nor the most challenging. I can, and will only be thankful for what I have, be hopeful for what's to come, because when there is darkness, there will be light, or so i pray.This heavy feeling is compounded by my fear of losing someone so so dear. There are so many memories, both vivid and vague. I know it's going to be tough, and it's a mixed bag of feelings - to let go or not. The age-old question, we all ask at various points of our lives. I know it would end her suffering, yet it's not easy not to be selfish; I can't bear to let her go and allow her to become a fragment of my memory. I am holding on, I want to hold on. I pray, I hope, I beg for her to recover, for her to stay, just a little while more. So God, on this beautiful Friday, please hear my prayers, hopes and wishes, and I'll remain forever thankful. Amen. Labels: 2017, emo, family, fear, God, grandma, hope, life, love, memories, phil wickham, pray, the light will come Use Somebody
Thursday, October 2, 2014 • 10:37 PM • 0 comments Once again, I feel this way. I hope what I choose to do is what God had wanted me to do. I pray for peace, love, health and happiness. Amen.Labels: 2014, emo, family, friends, God, life, love, pensive, relationships Farewell - An Ode to a Jolly Good Fellow
Monday, August 25, 2014 • 12:09 AM • 0 comments For he's a jolly good fellow,The one I remembered from young. The piggybacks and funny jokes, The hugs and laughters, The occasional scolds. Years gone by, he's grown old, And we have all grown apart. Our families meet once a year, The gathering of many for the new beginning, The one I see him at. He fought many battles, Through the lines and creases, we see. He fought hard till the end, Through the weeks, we saw. We prayed. We wept. We loved more. Although you're gone from our sight, No matter what, No matter where, No matter when, In our hearts and in our minds, You'll always be a part. God bless your soul and all the loved ones you've left behind. Amen. I will miss you...and especially your smile. Labels: 2014, 21August2014, emo, family, God, life, love, memories, prose, uncle Counting Stars
Wednesday, August 13, 2014 • 1:02 AM • 0 comments Today I received a call from my aunt and it got me worried until mum came home. I'm grateful for everyday that my uncle is fine.Yet, I can't help but wonder about my own life and the journey ahead. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep hope up. Robin Williams passed away today. A friend posted an article about how the funniest or happiest person may be the most unhappy or depressed person. The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it. Heard this song on my way home from gym and it become my ear worm. So meaningful and kinda expresses how I feel lately. 辛曉琪 遺忘
受伤的叶子 听见季节的吩咐 跳下了深爱的大树
歌 留不住的痴 就要变做不在乎 熟悉的影子渐模糊
一生又一世 一段沉溺的下午 和不再回头的觉悟
自 我们的故事 终于真的要结束 最后一次想往事
回到伤心的地方 追溯相爱时光
网 人面桃花旧模样 心感伤
ｉ 啦啦啦.......
沉默不语老橱窗 结着记忆的网
ｕ 谁让我这般迷惘 是你啊
我想你早就把我给遗忘 为别的温柔女人买美丽衣裳
ｃ 我能给你的祝福是遗忘 从此什么都不想 一辈子将你遗忘
Labels: 2014, chinese songs, comedians, depression, emo, family, friends, God, hope, life, love, memories, pray, reminiscence, robin williams, songs, thankful, time, Time magazine, Winnie Hsin Our stories
Sunday, August 3, 2014 • 3:56 AM • 0 comments The train carriage was quiet although most of the seats were taken. There was a lady reading a magazine, a teenage boy bobbing his head to the music playing through his headphones, an old couple staring into space with their hands held on tightly together and a couple of tired workers with their eyes half-shut. I was sitting there looking around and thinking about plans for tomorrow when the carriage doors open and in ran two young children with their father behind them. He sat down quietly beside me. His two children were chasing round the poles and loud laughter and shrill shrieks were heard from time to time.I turned to look at my neighbour and he was nonchalantly staring into space. It was as if he could not hear nor see the ruckus. I looked around the carriage to see if anyone was also bothered by the scene. A few exchanged looks with me and gave a disapproving look while the rest did not stir. I closed my eyes and hoped that the children would tire soon and sit down with their father. It felt like a long wait. Finally, I turned to tap on his shoulders. "Excuse me sir, could you ask your children not to run and shout?" "I'm sorry. We just returned from the hospital. Their mother just passed on. I'm not sure what to do either." This story was adapted from a story I've heard during a workshop. It was about making assumptions. In our daily lives, we often make assumptions based on our own experiences, senses, beliefs and perspectives. Today, I sat in the bus on my way to the hospital to accompany my mother. My uncle is not well and appears to be in a critical and delicate situation. I was troubled. Yet, I was reminded of that story, of how I am troubled and how everyone on the bus might have viewed me. The least likely opinion that they would have of me is that my loved one is not well. And I looked around, wondering what is everyone's story. Do they have an amazing or unhappy childhood? Are they healthy or are they sick? Do they have financial security or instability? Everyone has a story. I don't want his to end. God bless him. I really hope he becomes better and that he will wake up to smile to me again. Pray for him. Labels: 2014, emo, family, God, health, kinship, love, pray, stories, uncle His plans
Sunday, July 27, 2014 • 1:31 AM • 0 comments
Sometimes you can fight for what you want, go out and ask for what you want, work for what you want with your hard work but by now, you'd have realised for a fact that some things are just beyond your control. You live everyday doing what you can, hopefully all the things that makes you happy, all the things that you love and living till that one day, when everything you deserve, everything you wished for, everything you prayed for and everything you've been waiting for, happens. It may not be perfect but it will be what you need. I would like to believe that He knows what is best for me and He knows what I want and that everything will be alright and that happiness I know now will be different but better in my future.
I love this song. Not only because I like Adam Levine but also the catchy tune and the meaningful lyrics. The movie 'Begin Again' seems like a tear-jerking nice show too...
God bless the lost stars. Amen.
Labels: 2014, Adam Levine, emo, family, friends, God, hope, hopes and dreams, i will wait, lost, Lost Stars, love, pray, songs, work Small Things in a Big World
Sunday, July 20, 2014 • 5:29 PM • 0 comments To start off this post on a usual sunny Sunday evening, I would like to express my deepest condolences to the family and friends of those who were in the unfortunate MH17 incident. My heart sank and my eyes were teary from all the pictures and stories I've been reading. I'm particularly concerned as well because this is an international incident which could lead to many possible outcomes and one of which is war. I hope everyone has learnt enough from past history to know that noone should have to go through war again. It is not as if the world is not chaotic enough with man-made terror in some parts of the world and natural disasters in other parts. I'm thankful to be in Singapore where times are generally peaceful and there are not many natural disasters. However we are a small country and we are vulnerable to these external decisions and events of bigger countries. I saw this quote by someone who laid flowers at the embassy, 'fight for the world; not fight for your country'. We can be proud of our countries. We can engage in healthy competitions or 'fights' like the World Cup, Olympics, Wimbledon. We should recognize that at the end of the day, we are kinda of the same despite our differences in skin colour, religions, beliefs, geographical locations, cultures because when we die, we are all but a body of mass. It's not as if capitalism and consumerism haven't been stripping this Earth of resources enough, war would waste more resources that could be put into many more years of our own survival. And without these resources, without Mother Earth, we won't survive at all. I may not have experienced war but i know enough to not want to go through anything similar.Looking at the lifeless bodies, it's hard not to feel sad knowing that a moment ago, these were healthy happy people, full of hope and full of life. So despite our differences, life is fragile for all of us. Indeed, no amount of money and power can keep you alive because one day, we all must die. Perhaps absolute peace is an idealistic concept for this lifetime but I hope tolerance and compromise for the sake of peaceful times is definitely worth it for all generations to come. Peace out. \/ God bless us all. Amen. Labels: 2014, disaster, family, friends, love, mh17, Mother Earth, peace, pensive, war Don't Look Back, Just Keep Your Head Up
Wednesday, July 9, 2014 • 11:52 PM • 0 comments Paris and London were wonderful. The memories were aplenty and I remembered mostly the good ones. They leave me teary. Why? I ask God as well.I can only trust and pray. Discovered new music today. Swedish band, Amarante's Don't Look Back. It was used as a background music for a video uploaded by a girl with depression and other mental illnesses. She chronicled her selfies for 6.5years from 14 to 21 years old. It was this song that struck me most. It was soothing for the challenging times I've been having. I kinda got lost in 2 relationships that meant alot to me. Wish me good luck for next Monday. It's a very very very important interview to me. God bless us all.
You oughta know
That the world isn't fair
This light doesn't owe you anything
It's in your hands
To make your own luck
Live your own life
You're awake
Well, count on me
When the world isn't kind
And it leaves you behind
All alone
Just remember dear:
You are a strong one
You will not let it
Knock you down
Don't look back
Just keep your head up
Don't look back
Just keep your head up
Don't don't don't look back
Just keep your head up
Don't don't don't look back
Just keep your head up
Labels: 2014, Amarante, don't look back, emo, family, friends, God, hope, life, london, love, memories, paris, relationships, scholarships, songs, work Fast forward to the good times
Sunday, May 18, 2014 • 4:05 PM • 0 comments
It's a rainy Sunday afternoon and it's been a long while since Sunday wasn't sunny. The smell of beautiful white lilies in my room makes me feel serene and sad. If there's anything you should remember, relationships are what makes anyone more humane. Kinship, friendship and love.
The other day while i was running, another thought popped into my head.
The rising sun and the setting one, are both beautiful and quick
in the blink of an eye, you'd have missed the beautiful sight
But it is the day and how you lived it that determines the experience as dusk draws near
and the great hope you feel for the next break of dawn.
Labels: 2014, dawn, dusk, family, friends, gary lightbody, love, prose, quotes, relationships, running, snow patrol, songs, sunday, taylor swift, the last time Little Hands
Saturday, May 3, 2014 • 10:48 PM • 0 comments I dedicate this little ditty to my unborn child.little hands the world is yours hold it close with open arms little feet with miles ahead take is slow see it all take it in I see me in you, you in me I see me in you, you in me I see it in your eyes I see it in your eyes little heart dancing on so the ins and out won't bring you down little dream grow up tall with a little rain a little sun you'll feel alive I see me in you, you in me I see me in you, you in me I see it in your eyes I see it in your eyes little hands the world is yours hold it close with open arms little hands Labels: 2014, children, Delivery Man, family, inland sky, little hands, love, songs Little to smile about, Much to cry over
Sunday, April 27, 2014 • 11:36 PM • 0 comments Lately the skies seemed alil' less blue and everything appears to have that tinge of grey all over them. I feel like i'm sinking. Once again, me against the world. Has it been the bad shit I've done? What have I done? When will it all end? When will I see light and be blessed in its rays?
The waves kept rushing in, like a tsunami of passion and swept everything away
What's left are the debris from its destruction
Unrecognizable and unimaginable
Oh, all the tears and all the pain
They've all been robbed of love and all that remains, is so little, so little.
They tried to build it up all again, with their bare hearts and bare hands
Oh, all the tears and all the pain
Oh, all the tears and all the pain
Just because I'm losing Doesn't mean I'm lost. Doesn't mean I'll stop. Doesn't mean I'm across. Because, God, I have faith in you. Labels: 2014, bad luck, coldplay, emo, family, friends, God, good luck, karma, life, lost, love, work Magnolia
Monday, February 24, 2014 • 1:18 AM • 0 comments
Such a beautiful 'cheem' movie. It's kind of emo-nemo inducing but it made me fall in love with Aimee Mann's songs in the show.
So true, so true...
It's not what you thought
When you first began it You got what you want Now you can hardly stand it, though By now you know It's not going to stop It's not going to stop It's not going to stop Till you wise up You're sure there's a cure And you have finally found it You think one drink Will shrink you till you're underground And living down But it's not going to stop It's not going to stop It's not going to stop Till you wise up Prepare a list for what you need Before you sign away the deed 'Cause it's not going to stop It's not going to stop It's not going to stop Till you wise up No, it's not going to stop Till you wise up No, it's not going to stop So just give up
God, please give me strength and wisdom to wisen up!
xoxo
Labels: 2014, aimee mann, emo, family, friends, life, love, magnolia, movie, relationships, songs, wise up, work About Time
Tuesday, February 18, 2014 • 12:44 AM • 0 comments And so I've heard about this film from this friend and I watched it tonight. It made me tear, because it is a sappy love story but no, it's not because the guy and the girl couldn't be together. It was a sappy love story about a family and it made me feel so touched and inspired. About the love of a husband for his wife, to make sure she is the mother of his children. About the love of a father, to protect his children. About the love of a brother for his sister, to help her find true love and happiness. The greatest lesson from the movie, is the love of the father and his son. And it all made sense as we watched on. It is such a lovely, lovely show.In reality, we do not have the luxury of time travel, to do the regretted actions, to undo the mistakes, to re-write the stories we do not want told. Treat everyday as if it is the last, enjoy every moment and treasure everyone. Don't let time, slip you by. We go by everyday without realizing that it is one day nearer to losing everything. Let's hope it's a remarkable ride!  Labels: 2014, about time, boyfriend, brother, emo, family, friends, girlfriend, london, love, memories, movie, parents, quotes, regrets, relationships, siblings, sister, time, time travel The Magic Connection
Monday, February 17, 2014 • 12:45 AM • 0 comments  
It's not difficult to talk to people but to find a real connection is not the simplest thing ever. It's a God given gift for you to meet people whom you can connect with mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I'm thankful for the people I've met and been able to share a bond with, regardless of how long the period of time we shared, it meant and still mean alot to me.
As years passed, I've grown jaded of meeting new people whom I feel distant from and still have to fill the distance between. I relish the chance encounters with people whom I meet and feel like we have known each other for awhile and are so comfortable to share everything with. This is connection. I've learnt to appreciate it alot.
When an old friend told me, how he isn't sure whether to reconnect with a disconnected relationship, my first response was 'not really', because she had chose to disconnect from him and had supposedly moved onto someone else. However, he shared that he hasn't felt that connected for awhile and he really misses being able to connect so well with someone. Indeed, it is not everyday that you meet someone whom you can talk to readily and easily. In retrospect, I should have told him to give it a second thought. Perhaps, he should give it another try.
I guess I'll just have to keep walking. I know I'll get somewhere, I hope it's a place with good laksa, avocado milkshake and a sweet, nice, cute guy to share with, and of course connect with! Ha!
Labels: 2014, chvrches, connection, emo, family, friends, hope, love, memories, relationships, songs, thankful, under the tide Sow a seed
Tuesday, November 26, 2013 • 11:43 PM • 0 comments
I pray and I would give a few of my years to see her healthy and happy, to receive her blessings, to hear her stories of yesteryears.
Today I've also been reminded that I used to listen to Chinese songs. Never knew why they often have to be so emo-nemo.
So true.
the song i heard on the radio that reminded me of all these other songs...
other random oldies that bring back memories of my chinese song loving years
Mega old school song that I really like! 夢田 潘越雲
What's the seed you sow and what have you reaped?
Mama, don't worry. Labels: 2013, emo, family, grandma, health, hope, iron and wine, love, melancholy, na ying, old songs, pray, upward over the mountain, valen hsu, worry, 潘越雲 Christmas and New Year
Sunday, November 17, 2013 • 3:56 PM • 0 comments Is it too early for resolutions? I think I may have a couple of things I wanna achieve, things I've been thinking about but have not got down to really complete them.Watched a not-worth-the-penny movie yesterday. But something did stick. The girl was hot, nice, smart and he did have an addiction but his sister saw through all that and told him that the girl has her own agenda - she wants what she wants and didn't really care about him at all. Hope, we must have. God bless us all. Labels: 2013, 2014, family, friends, goats, hope, life, love, money, resolutions, work downhill
Monday, November 11, 2013 • 11:09 PM • 0 comments really, everything.right now? just want to move out, get out, whatever. no, i don't want to be alone. but not everyone can and wants to fill the gap either. Labels: 2013, bad luck, family, friends, love, work A little bird told me...
Monday, October 7, 2013 • 9:06 PM • 0 comments
My new favorite colors should be green, blue, white and black and never yellow. Dang. I should have a love-hate relationship with my yellow minions in denim overalls. On the other hand, i now have a legit reason for loving Tiffany! Ok and probably turquoise and teal and aquamarine. =D
My lucky number is 6. It's totally cool because I'm born in 1986, on 26th and it's always good to say 六六大順.
Time to have new plans next year. Be an educator, psychologist and/or entrepreneur.
Also, time to be less temperamental, more patient, think before speaking, listen to and not just hear others.
It doesn't help that I'm gonna be having obstacles in my way and meeting people who may be lovers but not husbands. Well, at least until I'm 29 and good luck should roll after 32. Pessimistic viewpoint would be that i've been told this umpteen times but the good time to fall in love never seem to come. Optimistic view is that I can only move forward so believe in the good life to come.
Labels: 2013, colours, family, fortune telling, good life, good luck, hope, life, love, numbers, work She
Sunday, August 25, 2013 • 9:15 PM • 0 comments
Life will never be perfect.
There will always be ups and downs, good and bad, rich and poor.
Change is a constant but she needs a constant without the change.
She needs somebody to hold her, hug her, kiss her and tell her everything is going to be ok, not because he is there, but because they are together.
Alas, she needs someone who loves her and more importantly, she loves him back too.
And after so long, she thought things would change.
But she stopped and ran in reverse.
Only God can save her now.
Labels: 2013, family, friends, God, life, love, relationships, work In this happy little house
Sunday, August 11, 2013 • 1:31 PM • 0 comments
People live for the hopes and dreams they have as they strive to move forward and live each day. I find it difficult to imagine anyone living without hopes and dreams. Regardless of how minute these hopes and dreams might seem, they only need to be significant enough to that individual to provide him/her the reason to live.
It's heartening to listen to the aspirations of young children and heart wrenching to know that there are those without.
I dream of coming home to a big happy family with hearty dinners and funny conversations and children running around in the garden or the dinner table, adults chattering and plates clattering.
I dream of waking up next to someone who tells me he loves me every morning, who understands me in good times and bad, whom I will grow old together.
I dream of starting something on my own and passing it on as a legacy and in my small way, to be a small part of someone's life. Be it a cuppa, providing support to a child and his/her parent, create a masterpiece, giving life and fun to everyone around me.
Most of all, I dream of living life the way I want to, living life happy and fulfilling for myself and everyone I love. An ordinary life is definitely a life worth pursuing too.
And I will wait.
I should catch 'Dear John' some time. I like this song.
It's how I feel sometimes when things become out of proportions although it shouldn't be and I'm still staying right here.
By the way, I love my new blog template! :) I created all the icons on the right column and spent half a day to customise everything else. I know nothing about writing all that codes but I figured them out on my own and with Mr Google too. I'm so proud! *beams* Whaddya think eh? =D Labels: 2013, amanda seyfried, business, couple, dreams, family, happiness, happy, hope, hugs and kisses, i will wait, little house, love, mumford & sons, songs |
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