Almost Mid-life Crisis

Sunday, August 31, 2014 • 9:43 PM • 0 comments

Many things happened and yet not many things happened recently.

I'm really into this korean show and as usual, I've marathon-watched it all.

In the past, I've always thought of trying out many other jobs if i weren't bonded. Now that I've switched schemes, I do have the choice to leave and pursue whatever I would like to.

If I am given a local offer, I may seriously consider taking 6 months to 12 months off to try living abroad on my own. As usual, I'm not good with picking up new languages so I think I'm keen to go to somewhere I can speak English or Mandarin.

On one hand, I want to do this while I'm still young and single. On the other, I know I still have bills and charges to pay...

Decisions, decisions, decisions... To be or not to be? That's the question.

Labels: 2014, choices, happiness, life

Farewell - An Ode to a Jolly Good Fellow

Monday, August 25, 2014 • 12:09 AM • 0 comments

For he's a jolly good fellow,
The one I remembered from young.
The piggybacks and funny jokes,
The hugs and laughters,
The occasional scolds.

Years gone by, he's grown old,
And we have all grown apart.
Our families meet once a year,
The gathering of many for the new beginning,
The one I see him at.

He fought many battles,
Through the lines and creases, we see.
He fought hard till the end,
Through the weeks, we saw.
We prayed. We wept. We loved more.

Although you're gone from our sight,
No matter what,
No matter where,
No matter when,
In our hearts and in our minds,
You'll always be a part.

God bless your soul and all the loved ones you've left behind. Amen.

I will miss you...and especially your smile.

Labels: 2014, 21August2014, emo, family, God, life, love, memories, prose, uncle

Counting Stars

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 • 1:02 AM • 0 comments

Today I received a call from my aunt and it got me worried until mum came home. I'm grateful for everyday that my uncle is fine.

Yet, I can't help but wonder about my own life and the journey ahead. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep hope up.

Robin Williams passed away today. A friend posted an article about how the funniest or happiest person may be the most unhappy or depressed person.
The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.

Heard this song on my way home from gym and it become my ear worm. So meaningful and kinda expresses how I feel lately.

辛曉琪遺忘

受伤的叶子听见季节的吩咐跳下了深爱的大树

歌留不住的痴就要变做不在乎熟悉的影子渐模糊

一生又一世一段沉溺的下午和不再回头的觉悟

自我们的故事终于真的要结束最后一次想往事

回到伤心的地方追溯相爱时光

网人面桃花旧模样心感伤

ｉ啦啦啦.......

沉默不语老橱窗结着记忆的网

ｕ谁让我这般迷惘是你啊

我想你早就把我给遗忘为别的温柔女人买美丽衣裳

ｃ我能给你的祝福是遗忘从此什么都不想一辈子将你遗忘

Labels: 2014, chinese songs, comedians, depression, emo, family, friends, God, hope, life, love, memories, pray, reminiscence, robin williams, songs, thankful, time, Time magazine, Winnie Hsin

Our stories

Sunday, August 3, 2014 • 3:56 AM • 0 comments

The train carriage was quiet although most of the seats were taken. There was a lady reading a magazine, a teenage boy bobbing his head to the music playing through his headphones, an old couple staring into space with their hands held on tightly together and a couple of tired workers with their eyes half-shut. I was sitting there looking around and thinking about plans for tomorrow when the carriage doors open and in ran two young children with their father behind them. He sat down quietly beside me. His two children were chasing round the poles and loud laughter and shrill shrieks were heard from time to time.I turned to look at my neighbour and he was nonchalantly staring into space. It was as if he could not hear nor see the ruckus. I looked around the carriage to see if anyone was also bothered by the scene. A few exchanged looks with me and gave a disapproving look while the rest did not stir. I closed my eyes and hoped that the children would tire soon and sit down with their father. It felt like a long wait. Finally, I turned to tap on his shoulders.

"Excuse me sir, could you ask your children not to run and shout?"

"I'm sorry. We just returned from the hospital. Their mother just passed on. I'm not sure what to do either."

This story was adapted from a story I've heard during a workshop. It was about making assumptions. In our daily lives, we often make assumptions based on our own experiences, senses, beliefs and perspectives. Today, I sat in the bus on my way to the hospital to accompany my mother. My uncle is not well and appears to be in a critical and delicate situation. I was troubled. Yet, I was reminded of that story, of how I am troubled and how everyone on the bus might have viewed me. The least likely opinion that they would have of me is that my loved one is not well. And I looked around, wondering what is everyone's story. Do they have an amazing or unhappy childhood? Are they healthy or are they sick? Do they have financial security or instability?

Everyone has a story. I don't want his to end. God bless him. I really hope he becomes better and that he will wake up to smile to me again. Pray for him.

Labels: 2014, emo, family, God, health, kinship, love, pray, stories, uncle