♥ Dominique ♥

Life, goes on

Saturday, October 21, 2017 • 5:01 PM • 0 comments

She has left.
I remember it was Sunday. Last day of May. I remember she was in pain for a while. I remember she could not longer speak. I remember my Grandmother, and she left quietly after every one of us came to say goodbye.

You never really forget someone, or get over someone. You just choose to keep them in a corner of your heart and mind. For some of them, you take them out and flip through the memories like a photo album. For others, you just brush the thoughts aside and get on with life.

I thank God for the blessings in my life, and for the good things to come. Amen.

SONG OF THE MOMENT

I'm never gonna let you close to me
Even though you mean the most to me
'Cause every time I open up, it hurts
So I'm never gonna get too close to you
Even when I mean the most to you
In case you go and leave me in the dirt

But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry
And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry
And every time you walk out, the less I love you
Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true

I'm way too good at goodbyes

Labels: 2017, death, emo, God, grandma, health, life, love, memories, peace, Sam Smith, songs, time, too good at goodbyes

Home?

Saturday, April 15, 2017 • 12:53 AM • 0 comments

Back to the familiar sights and sounds, but i feel like a stranger lost in the mindless, nameless crowd. Between then and now, I've gained, lost, gained and lost to the inner demons of doubts in my head and heart. It's a disease that had me eaten inside out for years. I want to beat this sickness, and i don't know how. Life's a journey, and my journey hasn't been the smoothest nor the most challenging. I can, and will only be thankful for what I have, be hopeful for what's to come, because when there is darkness, there will be light, or so i pray.

This heavy feeling is compounded by my fear of losing someone so so dear. There are so many memories, both vivid and vague. I know it's going to be tough, and it's a mixed bag of feelings - to let go or not. The age-old question, we all ask at various points of our lives. I know it would end her suffering, yet it's not easy not to be selfish; I can't bear to let her go and allow her to become a fragment of my memory. I am holding on, I want to hold on. I pray, I hope, I beg for her to recover, for her to stay, just a little while more. So God, on this beautiful Friday, please hear my prayers, hopes and wishes, and I'll remain forever thankful. Amen.

Labels: 2017, emo, family, fear, God, grandma, hope, life, love, memories, phil wickham, pray, the light will come