a flickering spark wanting to be appreciated for her warmth



<3 SONGS!

Fields of Gold - Sting
You were meant for me - Jewel
If i ain't got you - Alicia Keys
All of me - John Legend
Home - Phillip Phillips
L-O-V-E - Nat King Cole
How long will I love you - Ellie Goulding
The Glory of Love - The Five Keys

We all had dreams as a little child, that thought or comment of 'one day I'm gonna...'.

Well, most of mine are slowly realized over the years and as my third decade on Earth is gradually approaching, I reminisced and pondered over everything that has happened and hasn't happen. You know, the kind of emo nemo stuff I am often overly indulgent on.

If there's anyone who knows me or has read my blog's previous entries, you would know I'm really not good with relationships - to stay in it or to keep someone. It's scary how judgmental people can be, to know you have been single all your life, to know you have had abusive relationships, to know you have had many relationships, etc. They conjure up may hypotheses like your bad childhood, your appearances, your character, your ambitious desire, your materialism, your lack of fidelity and many more. And yes, I've been in conversations like these and although the comments were not directed at me, I often wonder what they thought of me.

It sort of reminded me of the many reasons why people are plump especially after the viral fat/body shaming videos. I can understand that for some people, they want to slim down and have tried hard but haven't had much success due to external reasons like health/biological conditions. For some people I know, it was a challenging but beneficial journey to healthier and slimmer bodies.

So, I guess, I'm not sure what's happening here but I would like to believe it's a combination of Nature versus Nurture debate. I would also like to believe I am becoming a better person as time goes by. I do not want a 'anything goes' outcome. Sparks should fly and pieces should fit. So, it's gonna be a 'we shall see' situation. In the mean time, I believe that we should do things that we want to regardless of  marital status. There will always be down times but life is too long for sadness and too short for happiness. Let's take a better route, smell the roses and enjoy.

Peace out and God bless. 

Labels: 2015, 30, BANFF, emo, God, happiness, marriage, memories, music, relationships, The Great Unknown

Once again, I feel this way. I hope what I choose to do is what God had wanted me to do. I pray for peace, love, health and happiness. Amen.

Labels: 2014, emo, family, friends, God, life, love, pensive, relationships

Paris and London were wonderful. The memories were aplenty and I remembered mostly the good ones. They leave me teary. Why? I ask God as well.
I can only trust and pray.

Discovered new music today. Swedish band, Amarante's Don't Look Back. It was used as a background music for a video uploaded by a girl with depression and other mental illnesses. She chronicled her selfies for 6.5years from 14 to 21 years old. It was this song that struck me most.
It was soothing for the challenging times I've been having. I kinda got lost in 2 relationships that meant alot to me.

Wish me good luck for next Monday. It's a very very very important interview to me.  God bless us all.

That the world isn't fair 

This light doesn't owe you anything 

It's in your hands 

To make your own luck 

Live your own life 

You're awake 

Well, count on me 

When the world isn't kind 

And it leaves you behind 

All alone 

Just remember dear: 

You are a strong one 

You will not let it 

Knock you down 

Don't look back 

Just keep your head up 

Don't look back 

Just keep your head up 

Don't don't don't look back 

Just keep your head up 

Don't don't don't look back 

Just keep your head up

Labels: 2014, Amarante, don't look back, emo, family, friends, God, hope, life, london, love, memories, paris, relationships, scholarships, songs, work

Labels: 2014, dawn, dusk, family, friends, gary lightbody, love, prose, quotes, relationships, running, snow patrol, songs, sunday, taylor swift, the last time

Labels: 2014, hippie, indie, love, relationships, songs, the world is watching, two door cinema club

Labels: 2014, aimee mann, emo, family, friends, life, love, magnolia, movie, relationships, songs, wise up, work

And so I've heard about this film from this friend and I watched it tonight. It made me tear, because it is a sappy love story but no, it's not because the guy and the girl couldn't be together. It was a sappy love story about a family and it made me feel so touched and inspired. About the love of a husband for his wife, to make sure she is the mother of his children. About the love of a father, to protect his children. About the love of a brother for his sister, to help her find true love and happiness. The greatest lesson from the movie, is the love of the father and his son. And it all made sense as we watched on. It is such a lovely, lovely show.

In reality, we do not have the luxury of time travel, to do the regretted actions, to undo the mistakes, to re-write the stories we do not want told. Treat everyday as if it is the last, enjoy every moment and treasure everyone. Don't let time, slip you by. We go by everyday without realizing that it is one day nearer to losing everything. Let's hope it's a remarkable ride!

Labels: 2014, about time, boyfriend, brother, emo, family, friends, girlfriend, london, love, memories, movie, parents, quotes, regrets, relationships, siblings, sister, time, time travel

Labels: 2014, chvrches, connection, emo, family, friends, hope, love, memories, relationships, songs, thankful, under the tide

4 days right into 2014, I realised I haven't changed much.

Listening to all the songs I've accumulated over the 9 years of my life, brought back many fond memories and most importantly, I still remember their lyrics and enjoyed the spontaneous KTV session in my bedroom.

Talking to a friend last night, made me realised how easy relationships can fall apart and made me treasure the value of fidelity so much more. The talk also made me realised how much i still enjoy long walks under the lovely blue skies dotted with fluffy white clouds, along the soft sandy beaches to watch the sun set or even sun rise (except i almost never wake up in time for that), beneath the starry night skies with the occasional gentle breeze across my face. Of course, these would be the things I hope my partner enjoys with me too.
Aww.. still a hopeless romantic. I have a hippie disposition trapped by a rational mind (most times). And so I made this collage with the photos i took in Hawaii and Perth. :)


Random thought: What is attractive to me?

• Photography: a keen eye for beauty and a love for capturing best moments. i love taking photos of moments and nature and I also love being taken photos of but i'm not really photogenic so having a boyfriend who takes beautiful photos of me is really attractive. Ha! 
• Music: the ability to connect the world without language is the beats and rhythm of music. you'll be amazed how 2 people from different culture and language background can understand feelings and emotions through music. thus, i really appreciate someone who can appreciate music the way i do and to introduce me to new kinds of music too.
• Cars: there's something about these machines that really intrigues me and i love a guy who can tell me how much he knows about cars and if he owes a good car, that's awesome too. :)
• Appreciate the finer things in life: good food, good travels, good taste, good sense of style.
• Appreciate the Arts: Musicals, Poetry and Exhibitions. I do like some of them.
• Goal: who isn't attracted to a man who knows what he wants and is set & driven to achieve it?

Labels: 2014, arts, boyfriend, cars, clouds, food, love, music, old songs, photography, pieces, poem, relationships, romance, stars, sum 41, sunsets

Labels: 2013, A Perfect Day, Danny Cope, emo, love, piano, relationships, songs

I am hooked onto this show and I've finished both seasons. Can't wait for Season 3 but that's only if Parker Young or Ryan Shay is in it!




He is so cute in the show. Although he's really the all-brawns-kinda-dumb jock in the show, he's been portrayed as the very nice, decent jock who fell deeply in love with Tessa, the smart, brash, red-head city girl. I'm a sucker for nice guys especially when you see how cute he is in this ridiculous gear...




and also when his chiseled features included his hot bod...


and his soulful, innocent boy appeal... oh those deep-set bedroom eyes...and the sharp nose...




most definitely, the clean-cut boy attraction for me.


For all you know, I might watch 'Enlisted' just to see him.

He was duper sweet in the show despite being the himbo. I think his innocence and no facade or acting cool nature in the show was very appealing to me. He was always the first who came back to her, no matter who started the fight and she, on her part, apologises too. Having walked on earth and meeting many people who hide their feelings more than showing it out loud and making things so complicated, he was the dreamy boy of mine.

On a side note, Dallas may be the divorced, rich and super nice, vain, hot lady in the show but she had many moments that struck a chord with me. When she started dating George, she told George that there were many men who were wealthier and more romantic than he is and would want to date her and she said, " ...but I chose you. I chose you because you made me feel different".

They kissed in the rain while George held the umbrella up and she commented that it would have been more romantic if he had put the umbrella down. He replied, "You're bossy" and in return, she said "I'll change". But she still pushes his umbrella down and he still took the umbrella up, all this, while kissing.

Throughout the show, Dallas often had her own ideal definition of what 'romance', 'dates' should be which George couldn't live up to and she often had to tell him what she would prefer. But don't get me wrong, they were able to connect and support each other most of the times and that is why they are together.

The show ended with Dallas not trusting that George really loves her.  And what struck me most? When George bought her dream home like how she has described to him but he became exasperated when she cries and thinks that he has learnt to love her but he has never really been in love with her. He said "I've jumped through hoops for you...but you always move the hoops further away".

We, outsiders, would think that from all that, he does love her. But we can't feel the same way. The events that happened and how they got together probably contributed to that insecurity.
And so I'd still say, noone knows best but the one in the situation would feel most.

Labels: 2013, drama serial, love, love despite differences, parker young, quotes, relationships, suburgatory

• I feel like going London or NYC for Christmas.
• I want to fall in love again. I want to be loved and to love in return.
• I want to start something.
• I want a good change.

Labels: 2013, emo, hewyork, holiday, hope, lang leav, london, love, poem, relationships, travel

Meanwhile, I just want to remember something good that happened today. A cab driver stopped to pick me up and sent me to the nearest MRT station while on his way home. He said he wanted to preserve the Choa Chu Kang Kampung spirit and give someone in need a ride. He explained that at that time, the cab drivers were changing shifts so it would have been difficult to get a cab at where I was standing.
Awww... =) He made my day. Life has been tough in recent weeks. I'm so lost and forlorn. I just want to grab on to the good things that do come. SHC6207X, thank you!

Labels: 2013, cab driver, couple, emo, fix, good deed, happy, hugs and kisses, love, marriage, relationships, tough days

Labels: 2013, emo, friends, life, love, relationships, work

Labels: 2013, family, friends, God, life, love, relationships, work

Only hate the road when you're missing home 

Only know you love her when you let her go 

“We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.” 

Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Labels: 2013, let her go, love, love despite differences, nicholas sparks, passenger, relationships, the notebook, wrong direction

My wife got sick. 
She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. 
She has lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. 
Our relationship was on the verge of break up. 
Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. 
I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… 

But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the ideal of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders. 
I began to pepper her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised her and pleased every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe, but she has blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.

And then I realized one thing: “The woman is the reflection of her man"

- A Secret Love, Brad Pitt

Labels: 2013, life, love, relationships, richard marx

What do I remember most from 2012?
I've learnt about love a little more. I've learnt more about myself. I've learnt about friendships. But the more I've seen, experienced, cried over, thought about, laugh at and screamed out, the wiser I get but the more I do not know yet.

Perhaps loving someone and being loved shouldn't be so difficult.
Have I become so distrustful and insecure over the years to have them always proving themselves to me?
Am I so spoilt to always have to get my way with things?
Am I so temperamental to always have to be on the emotional rollercoaster ride?

And if i go beyond those years of bad experience and ponder upon my younger days, it was slow, comfortable and nice. It was taking effort to notice his likes, to understand his thoughts and to share our feelings through text messages, love notes, little gifts and long conversations.

Why has loving become such a haste?
I should and shall endeavor to take time to see, to hear, to feel and to love.



The recent escapade to London, Tromso, Oslo and Reyjkavik has been a good one. My four favorite pictures from the trip! :) Kind of represents Spring in the park, Summer dipping in bikini, Autumn pretty leaves and Winter wonderland winds.


The Aurora was amazing too. Seeing it glide, dance, scatter across the starry starry skies is simply beautiful. The milky way, Jupiter, constellations and the moonrise, it is all so romantic with the campfire, tea and biscuits. The cold was alittle too much with -12degs but it was all worth the experience! I loved it!





Being able to travel is my life's most wonderful gift. I enjoy the sounds, the sights, the food and the air. The whole experience is always different, always memorable.

In 2013, I would like to continue traveling and create more interesting memories to reminisce in my later years.

In 2013, I pray that God grants me love, hope, health and happiness for me and my loved ones.

Amen.

Labels: 2013, aurora, family, friends, iceland, london, love, norway, oslo, relationships, reyjkavik, tromso, work

It has happened at least 8 times, average of once a month.
Can things be simpler? Can both of us stop wanting to leave?

I believed there were good times, can we focus on them?


God, please help us all through the uncertain times.

Labels: 2012, boyfriend, God, happiness, love, relationships

I could have posted about the hen's night last night or the supposedly last pageant as a Miss just a week ago or the upcoming renovation of my bedroom but I chose to share my sadness and confusion because this is my blog and this is a memory I would like to keep to remind myself all the troughs and peaks of this arduous relationship.

I always knew I'm not a perfect person, never will be. I will never be perfect for anyone too and I'm not looking for the perfect one either. I just want to be good enough for someone and for someone to be good enough for me and let's just be happy.

I'm so pathetic that I'm so angry at myself. Help! I need a sign, to stay or to move on, really.

Why are you so capricious?
It's enough to have an eccentric one, we don't need two.

Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping's impossible, too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?
It's not right, not okay
Say the word that you say
Maybe we're better off this way
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way
It's better that we break

God bless us all with not the right answers, but the best outcomes. Amen.

Labels: 2012, happiness, love, maroon 5, relationships

Previously on Earth

Leave a comment anywhere if you're interested in something pretty here.

Brand New Bags!

Good for weekends and work. Able to put magazines, files, notebook, ipad and a bottle of water to hydrate in this sunny weather.
Rich pebbled cowhide leather and a structured tote shape accented with 14 karat gold-plated hardware.
Contrast top-stitching with a double flat shoulder strap and a KATE SPADE NEW YORK" name plaque on the front center of the bag.
Has concealed zip-top closure that opens up to a pretty woven floral lining.
Has two open pockets trimmed in leather and a zipper pocket with leather accents and a "KATE SPADE NEW YORK" name plaque stitched into it.
ORP: US$365
Asking for $480!
Brand New With Tag. No dustbag.
20" Shoulder Straps
8" Shoulder Strap Drop
16" Width
13.5" Height
6" Depth


Longchamp Le Pliage in Rouge & Blanc


Favorite classic tote from Longchamp - Le Pliage in Blanc & Rouge
Zippered Tote
12" Long Handle - Cowhide Leather
1 Main Compartment with Zipper Opening and 1 Internal Pocket on the Front
Foldable for Easy Storage when Not In Use
Dimensions: 31x30x19cm
Made In France
Brand New!
ORP: $245
Asking for $185

History

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