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As a little girl
Saturday, September 26, 2015 • 1:24 PM • 0 comments We all had dreams as a little child, that thought or comment of 'one day I'm gonna...'.Well, most of mine are slowly realized over the years and as my third decade on Earth is gradually approaching, I reminisced and pondered over everything that has happened and hasn't happen. You know, the kind of emo nemo stuff I am often overly indulgent on. If there's anyone who knows me or has read my blog's previous entries, you would know I'm really not good with relationships - to stay in it or to keep someone. It's scary how judgmental people can be, to know you have been single all your life, to know you have had abusive relationships, to know you have had many relationships, etc. They conjure up may hypotheses like your bad childhood, your appearances, your character, your ambitious desire, your materialism, your lack of fidelity and many more. And yes, I've been in conversations like these and although the comments were not directed at me, I often wonder what they thought of me. It sort of reminded me of the many reasons why people are plump especially after the viral fat/body shaming videos. I can understand that for some people, they want to slim down and have tried hard but haven't had much success due to external reasons like health/biological conditions. For some people I know, it was a challenging but beneficial journey to healthier and slimmer bodies. So, I guess, I'm not sure what's happening here but I would like to believe it's a combination of Nature versus Nurture debate. I would also like to believe I am becoming a better person as time goes by. I do not want a 'anything goes' outcome. Sparks should fly and pieces should fit. So, it's gonna be a 'we shall see' situation. In the mean time, I believe that we should do things that we want to regardless of marital status. There will always be down times but life is too long for sadness and too short for happiness. Let's take a better route, smell the roses and enjoy. Peace out and God bless. Labels: 2015, 30, BANFF, emo, God, happiness, marriage, memories, music, relationships, The Great Unknown Like a child who lost her lollies
Saturday, June 20, 2015 • 9:49 PM • 0 comments 
Victoria is beautiful. I love her nature and one can imagine how frustrated and sad I am to have lost the ability to explore her for a long time. I'm still thankful to be alive and that recovery, no matter how slow and painful, will come. But 2nd May and the days to follow, was an unpleasant period in my entire life so far. I really hope nothing like this would happen to me or anyone I love again. This photo was taken shortly before it happened. I still love exploring the wilderness and I can't wait to be back out there again.
I could only pray for the wisdom and strength to recover mentally, emotionally, spiritually and definitely physically.When I am, the world will know and I hope I will be able to forgive and move on.
Having my mother to care for me, was heaps of help to me. I appreciate the company although I have been really quick tempered due to all that frustration which has been better these days. Living alone has its perks and troughs but at times like these, I'm thankful for support from family and friends. Only in times of difficulties, you know who are those who really do care and show actions for it.
It's always amazing to have company. Many times in my life, I could have had found company but I guess I never really wanted company. I wanted someone who provides more than that. Chemistry is important and then after that, I want someone I could learn from and whom I can teach and we respect each other's expertise, so that we could grow and learn together. I want someone who is giving enough to let me win but quietly confident of himself. I want someone with dreams and ambitions and the drive to pursue them because I want to look up to him and run along side him with my dreams and ambitions. I want someone who has similar wide-ranging tastes in life like food, music, travel, books, movies, so that we can share our love for them and create new experiences together. Most of all, I want to feel and know that I am more important than anyone and anything in the world to him because I know one day, he'll be the world to me. I may not satisfy these wants, but as long as I'm breathing, I still hope one day, someone will love me like I do and that I will know that I love him too.
Meanwhile, I pray for love, peace, health and happiness. Amen.
Buenas Nouches.
Labels: 2015, accident, australia, God, hope, kangeroo, life, love, victoria Dreams & Reality
Saturday, February 28, 2015 • 9:13 AM • 0 comments Woke up feeling rather gloomy today and the weather in Melbourne reflects exactly that. It has been sunny this week until today. Pretty sure it's gonna rain in an hour's time.Ever since I've moved into this room, I've had dreams every night. They are not pleasant at all. :( I often wake up feeling scared or sad. Today, it's been the worst. It's a stark reminder of what I've lost and it was painful. You would move on from all these memories because life and time goes on and being someone who's caught up with my own goals, I do move forward. However, we all would realise, that from time to time, these memories come back to haunt us. Once again, we find our hearts and minds really affected by them. I often feel alone when I feel this way but I'm pretty sure he does, everyone does. It's just how frequent and how much we allow ourselves to be affected by it. Moral of the story? I need a dreamcatcher! :p Meanwhile, being in Melbourne alone and starting on a new independent journey again, is a dream and goal come true! :) However in reality, this new phase of life may be giving some stress. Although I feel fine but my body and mind are finer calipers of balance and right now, I may be just feeling out of sorts while adjusting to life. So far, I'm quite thankful. Not many major hiccups and I'm grateful for many things that have happened and people who have helped. I can only continue to pray and hope for things to be good, for love, peace, health and happiness. Amen. The pictures kinda sum up what I've been doing. Coffee (loads), exploring lanes, night life (White Night!), Queen Victoria Market, CNY, Beaches (St Kilda)! :)       Labels: 2015, australia, coffee, dreamcatcher, dreams, emo, God, life, lost, love, melbourne, queen victoria market, st kilda, stress, travel |
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