August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 February 2015 June 2015 September 2015 February 2016 August 2016 December 2016 April 2017 October 2017

It's another emo day. How do I get out of this runt?

I've done something not right and I should have been wiser than this to have done it. Have I lost myself?

I miss love. I need to learn to love myself. I need to be happy with myself.

This seems like the darker times I've not had for a long time.
God please help me through these tough days and nights.
I wish to find my own happiness and love.

I would like to be able to do what I like and find enjoyment.
I would like to walk down the aisle and find happiness.
I would like to carry my children and find contentment.
I would like to grow old and find fulfillment.
I would like to experience life and find peace.

Labels: 2013, emo, family, friends, God, happiness, hope, love

What do I remember most from 2012?
I've learnt about love a little more. I've learnt more about myself. I've learnt about friendships. But the more I've seen, experienced, cried over, thought about, laugh at and screamed out, the wiser I get but the more I do not know yet.

Perhaps loving someone and being loved shouldn't be so difficult.
Have I become so distrustful and insecure over the years to have them always proving themselves to me?
Am I so spoilt to always have to get my way with things?
Am I so temperamental to always have to be on the emotional rollercoaster ride?

And if i go beyond those years of bad experience and ponder upon my younger days, it was slow, comfortable and nice. It was taking effort to notice his likes, to understand his thoughts and to share our feelings through text messages, love notes, little gifts and long conversations.

Why has loving become such a haste?
I should and shall endeavor to take time to see, to hear, to feel and to love.



The recent escapade to London, Tromso, Oslo and Reyjkavik has been a good one. My four favorite pictures from the trip! :) Kind of represents Spring in the park, Summer dipping in bikini, Autumn pretty leaves and Winter wonderland winds.


The Aurora was amazing too. Seeing it glide, dance, scatter across the starry starry skies is simply beautiful. The milky way, Jupiter, constellations and the moonrise, it is all so romantic with the campfire, tea and biscuits. The cold was alittle too much with -12degs but it was all worth the experience! I loved it!





Being able to travel is my life's most wonderful gift. I enjoy the sounds, the sights, the food and the air. The whole experience is always different, always memorable.

In 2013, I would like to continue traveling and create more interesting memories to reminisce in my later years.

In 2013, I pray that God grants me love, hope, health and happiness for me and my loved ones.

Amen.

Labels: 2013, aurora, family, friends, iceland, london, love, norway, oslo, relationships, reyjkavik, tromso, work

re·lapse/riˈlaps/

Verb:

(of someone suffering from a disease) Suffer deterioration after a period of improvement.

Can someone give me a pill to make me feel better? I need valium.

I'll be running away for awhile. I want to forget you and everything about you. I want to keep a space for someone who loves me more than you do and I want to fall in love again.

Can anybody hear me? Does anybody care?

God, please show me the way to happiness. Amen.

Labels: 2012, emo, holiday, love, relapse

I've never felt this way for so long. My tears still don't stop coming ever since 1st October. I hope with every tear drop, a part of the memories with you flows away. I don't want to hold on to them anymore. It hurts. I really really just want to let go and move on. Everytime I think about letting go, I think of how hard I fought to hold on and the good moments we had that led me to persevere.

I should think about how much you do not love me enough that's why you never really caught me when I fell so hard for you and all you wanted to do when times are rough is to let me go.




There's a new song that seems to speak to me about my situation.
"You're someone who never minded letting us go, letting me go. I need someone who never will let me go."

It's taking us downtown 
You're watching me watching me watching me go 
But I never listen 
No I never let you know 

Now heading uptown 
Is there something or nothing you wanted to say? 
'Cause I need to go now 
Do you want me to stay? 
I said stay 

What you need to know 
Is to try and let it go let it go 
What you need to find 
Is someone who never will let you go 

And oh oh 
Sunshine and city lights will guide you home 
And oh oh 
Yeah you gotta know that I'll never you go 

 Now we're stuck in midtown 
Surrounded by people and nothing but sound 
And we're going nowhere 
And we are the lost and found 

We're all over this town 
Is there something or nothing you wanted to say? 
'Cause I need to go now 
Do you want me to stay? 
I said stay 

What you need to know 
Is to try and let it go let it go 
What you need to find 
Is someone who never will let you go 
And oh oh 
And sunshine and city lights will guide you home 
And oh oh 
Yeah you gotta know that I'll never you go

Labels: 2012, emo, greyson chance, letting go, love, sunshine and city lights

Well, that's the first thing people ask me when I tell them what happened. Obviously, I'm not. Outwardly, of course I am. How can I not be? I'm too proud to show weakness and too distant to show vulnerability. I'm a sentimental person and I get emotional over the slightest issue. How can I not be?

Like the moth that flies towards fire, I'm just fatally attracted to you.

Has the time come? Has death been served on the platter? Have you taken the poison wine?

Then, let God give a sign, to when I can find a pillar of strength, of love and of wisdom.
Let's not waste youth and fertility, let that be the reason to live!
Until our purpose is achieved, when we see our labour bear fruits and propagate, let's not rest.

Amen.

Labels: 2012, emo, God, love, moths

Previously on Earth • Presently in Paradise