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Am I okay?
Tuesday, October 30, 2012 • 12:03 AM • 0 comments Well, that's the first thing people ask me when I tell them what happened. Obviously, I'm not. Outwardly, of course I am. How can I not be? I'm too proud to show weakness and too distant to show vulnerability. I'm a sentimental person and I get emotional over the slightest issue. How can I not be?Like the moth that flies towards fire, I'm just fatally attracted to you. Has the time come? Has death been served on the platter? Have you taken the poison wine? Then, let God give a sign, to when I can find a pillar of strength, of love and of wisdom. Let's not waste youth and fertility, let that be the reason to live! Until our purpose is achieved, when we see our labour bear fruits and propagate, let's not rest. Amen. Labels: 2012, emo, God, love, moths Sunday, October 21, 2012 • 1:49 PM • 0 comments A talented colleague sang this the other day and it resonated with me and how I'm feeling. I've been down a lonely street tonight And I don't know what's wrong with me I don't know what's wrong with me But clouds cover up a Dublin sky I don't know what's left of me I don't know what's right with me And I tried to keep my distance And I've sung Amazing Grace I've tarnished all our memories But there'll always be a trace of you Of you I remember laughing on that river's edge Trying to get you to jump with me Trying to get you to fall for me And your trembling heart it beats so fast Holding hands you promised me Holding hands we counted to three And I felt your slipping fingers And I saw you change your mind If I hadn't dragged you in with me You would have left me dive without you Without you Yeah they send you all the way from Hollywood And maybe that Dublin sky was changing you It put diamonds in your eyes I always thought we were gonna make it through But I wanted to hear it first from you How many days am I gonna regret you? How many nights till I forget you? Have I been wasting all those years Held down by these tears How many dreams have I left deserted? How many hopes have been diverted? Have I been buried in the dirt Held down by this hurt And how many lows did I let you highjack How many ways can I study the playback How did I end up lying here Crying underneath a Dublin sky? How many days am I gonna regret you? How many nights till I forget you? Have I been wasting all these years? Drowning in my tears How many nights am I gonna regret you? How many days till I forget you? Have I been wasting all these years Drowning in my tears? It's gonna be tonight. It would appear that nothing is in my favor. I no longer have any strength nor wisdom to change anything. I'm fighting with my last bit of breath. I remember a year ago, after we first met and got together, it rained quite often as well. I would think about cuddling under the blankets with you. I recall the many times, I woke up next to you and hear the pattering rain just outside the house. We only pulled closer to feel warmer together. I've always thought of you fondly whenever it rained. Fast forward, a year on now, we're not even talking, no longer any warmth. Did it hurt the most now because of our age, because of love, because of? Did I try the hardest for you because of? I don't know. I wished I knew the reasons to anything and the solutions to everything. But then i wouldn't be living life, would i? And so, dear God, I'm still hoping. Please send me your blessings. Labels: 2012, boyfriend, darren hayes, dublin sky, emo, God, love, rain Hey you!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012 • 11:43 PM • 0 comments Can you hear me?I know it's not right, but i just can't walk away. Can you stop this war that you've started? I surrendered myself long ago... God, please give me strength to go on with everything at home, at work and in love. God, please send your blessings for me to love and be loved. Amen. I want a love like what Daniel sings. And when we fight we fight And it ain't a pretty site Well it's not complex It's the make up sex Though we always get that right Well they don't make a pill That can give me the thrill When you look at me Then I hear you say Take me out spin me around We can laugh when we both fall down Let's get stupid dancing with cupid tonight When I sing out of key Still play air guitar for me Let's get stupid dancing with cupid tonight Don't feel all kind of right Labels: 2012, family, life, love, work I am
Friday, September 21, 2012 • 7:20 PM • 0 comments starting to miss you much.Blinding Lights of Nothing
Sunday, September 16, 2012 • 11:18 PM • 0 comments The weekend passed unlike the past 50 weekends. I was unhappy but I finished up my tears. Once in awhile, memories did roll out of my eyes and I felt tears. It was painful but I don't know what to do or who to speak to. It happened so many times before. Everyone wonders what makes this different from the previous times? Well, my heart still aches, no matter how many times it has happened. We were never sure if we were going to give it another shot and so I do feel heartaches and they hurt, alot. Precisely it has happened so many times before, each time it gets harder and harder to breathe, wider and wider to bridge.I did try. I don't know why I do the things that I do. I am trying to be a better person. You tried. You seem to have an explanation for everything that you do or not do. I know you were trying to be my partner. As quoted from a friend: I can't promise you a perfect relationship but I can promise you that if you're willing to try, I'm willing to stay. And I keep waiting For you to take me And you keep waiting To save what we had So I'll make sure to keep my distance, Say I love you when you're not listening, How long, can we keep this up, up, up? Make sure to keep my distance, Say I love you when you're not listening, How long, till we call this love, love, love? I'm disappointed that I was left out of the "honour" group despite being the one who got the ball rolling and was part of the planning team for the night. Well, at least now I know how much I am appreciated. Often I wonder, do I have someone I call a friend when I'm in need? That's the least of my worries right now. Whenever I'm troubled, I just feel like packing my bags and running away to start a fresh new life somewhere. Maybe one day. God, please give me wisdom and strength and love to overcome all these. Amen. Labels: 2012, Christina Perri, distance, emo, friends, God, life, love |
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